Santa's Top Altcoin Picks... Yep You Heard It Right. We Spoke to the Jolly Man Himself, and He's Very Merry About These Coins

Crypto predictions are notoriously difficult and often wildly inaccurate, especially given the multitude of so-called “experts” and pundits who claim to be able to see the future with their complex charts and trading strategies. But if there’s one man in the world who might actually know what the exact price of Bitcoin is going to be in Q1 2024, it’s the man with the long beard and a funny suit. No, not Charles Hoskinson! The other man with a beard and a funny suit – the one who lives way up in the North Pole. After all, he sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake – he knows if you’ve been bad or good…so he must know a thing or two about crypto.

Or so we imagined. And so we decided to track down old Saint Nicholas himself and ask him about his thoughts on crypto and the recent bull market. His first reaction, not surprisingly, was a hearty laugh as he patted his big round belly. “Heck of a crypto winter last year, wasn’t it?” he mused. “Jack Frost nipping at your toes?” We nodded, thinking of our heavy bags. “Well, things are warming up finally it seems,” Santa said.

Asked what his favorite altcoins are, Santa gave some rather interesting answers. Avalanche was mentioned, of course. But strangely enough, Charles Hoskinson’s name came up again. “I just love Cardano!” Santa said, adjusting his glasses and stroking his long white beard. Asked if the reason was because of its high transaction speeds, decentralization or peer-reviewed research, he gave another jolly laugh. “Heavens no!” he said. “I like it because the logo looks like a little snowflake. Imagine if you had millions of those things drifting down from the sky,” he said, moving his fingers softly in the air. “It’d look a lot like Christmas, wouldn’t it?” He smiled, and we nodded in agreement.

The next altcoin on Santa’s list came as a big surprise: TRON. “Because of the low transaction fees and stablecoin support?” we asked. Again, he laughed heartily, slapping his velvet red knee. “Do you know who Jeff Bridges is?” Santa asked. “You mean, the actor?” we replied. “Yes!” Santa said. “Well, he looks a lot like me…and, he also played Kevin Flynn – the video game developer in the movie Tron!” Santa declared. “Besides,” Saint Nick continued. “I love Justin Sun – he would make a perfect elf!”

What came next confused us at first – Render. According to Render’s website, “The Render Network is the first decentralized GPU rendering platform, empowering artists to scale GPU rendering work on-demand to high performance GPU Nodes around the world – including in the North Pole.” Well, actually, we added that last part in. But we assume it’s true anyway.

The token has been on a hot streak lately, up 918% over the past year. So was that the reason it made Santa’s list? “Who wouldn’t love a crypto named $RNDR?” laughed Santa, nearly falling out of his chair. It took us a second, but eventually we got the joke and laughed along with him.

The last altcoin on his list was one we’d never heard of, and in fact isn’t even listed on coinmarketcap’s website. It’s called Galaxy Fox ($GFOX). Apparently still in the early ICO stages, it’s a memecoin/GameFi hybrid that’s managed to raise over $1.5 million so far in its presale. “We thought you’d be a DogeCoin guy, Santa,” we admitted. “I do have a $DOGE stack,” Santa replied, “And some Shib too! But aside from reindeer, I have a thing for foxes,” he said. “And Galaxy Fox reminded me of the aurora borealis that we have up here, and the foxes. Both are just beautiful – and put ‘em together, well..” Santa drifted off.

Still, we had a few more questions and it was already getting late. So we quickly asked, “Who’s been naughty this year and who’s been nice?” “Gary Gensler and SBF have been very, very naughty,” Santa replied sternly. “And Charles Hoskinson has been very nice.” Really? Charles again?? “And so has Ivan from Ivan on Tech. I just love his hair and the way he says, ‘Man, the bears are gonna be totally rekt!” Santa laughed.

Then the question everyone was waiting for – what will happen to $BTC after the Spot ETF Approval? Santa leaned back and howled. “Ho Ho Ho! Wouldn’t you like to know!” he laughed. “Well, I will tell you this much,” Santa came up very close and whispered in our ear. “Ho, Ho…HODL, young man.”

And before we left, he gave us one last piece of advice. “Take a lesson from Ebenezer Scrooge,” Santa said. “Christmas is a time for joy and happiness and being with friends and loved ones, rejoicing and spreading cheer!” he said, then raised a finger and looked at us very seriously. “Not being on your iPhone looking at Coingecko all day long.” He paused to let that thought sink in, then added. “Crypto is here to stay – but Christmas…well, it only comes once a year!”

And with that, he stood up, patted his big red belly and opened the door as snowflakes began falling on his shoulder – but before he left he turned back and waved, wishing us a happy holiday as he climbed onto his red slay and flew off into the stars, shouting out to the sky, “Merry Christmast to all – and to all a good night!”

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